Easter in Devon

I have just returned from a weekend away with the children in Devon. My first trip down since Richie passed away. As many of you are aware Devon was where we got married and was somewhere we had always talked about moving to in the future. So it was a very strange journey thinking back to the times we have spent in Devon and the plans we had considered for our old age!

The journey down was a nightmare, typically I had left later than intended and therefore joined the masses travelling to the seaside for the Easter break urgh! My sister Julie, her other half Chris and their son Josh came with us. I had also bought alone a friend for Becca, her school mate Shannon. So we had two packed vehicles heading down the M4 and M5. We hired a couple of log cabins on a golf resort in Tedbury St Mary (a few miles out of Exeter).

Saturday we spent at Creely Adventure Park - the kids had a whale of a time. It was a fairly small park so Becs and Shannon had the luxury of being allowed to walk around without the adults and go on the rides that they wanted whist the rest of us watched the boys who spent most of the day playing with diggers in the sand.

Sunday gave us a gloriously sunny day so we all headed for the beach after the kids had finished their Easter Egg Hunt. Being a typical donut I didn't take myself any suncream and think I have become the first person to burn on a UK beach in early April! (This does not bode well for my upcoming trip to India!!)

Monday was spent doing a little shopping before heading back home (another 5 hrs spent in traffic jams!!). Unfortunately this journey back was not without its mishaps. Harry needed a wee (after giving the usual 10 second warning). We were stuck in the outside lane with no chance of getting to any services for at least half an hour. Therefore, yep, you guessed it Harry peed his pants - bless him! He was so upset as he very rarely has an accident and is always proud that he uses the toilet like a big boy! Anyway, we got him changed and into dry clothes and continued the journey home. Aprox 1 mile from Membury services I get another warning from Harry - he needs to wee again! Brilliant I think as we are a stones throw from the services - this clearly was not quick enough for Harry as he needed to go immediately. He therefore pulled out his winky and peed all over my car (and unfortunately Shannon too as she had the misfortune to be sat next to him). I didn't no whether to laugh or cry (I love my son but I also really love my car!!) - Harry then announces that at least he pants were dry!!!!! Kids and their logic - brilliant! I'm pretty sure Richie would be looking down laughing his socks off at the situation!

Innocent

Not sure if I had let you all know but Innocent have placed a post on their blog about Rich:-



http://innocentdrinks.typepad.com/innocent_drinks/2009/04/abouta-year-ago-we-told-you-about-richard-wildman-wildman-our-it-systems-guru-who-was-famed-within-these-grassy-halls-for.html



Innocent added this blog last Thursday afternoon. Following on from this I received an email from Alex Smith which I have copied for you all to read below (I'm hoping that Alex is ok with this as I have not had a response to confirm it is ok)

A Thank you message.

I started to write an email and then stopped. Then read some more of your blog and this is the result. I always found that I reacted to people talking to me about the big C with contempt and anger at how people cant possibly understand how it feels to watch someone wither in front of you. I read both you and your husbands blog through the innocent website. I'm 21 and lost my mum to cancer last year after a 3 year battle. I cant imagine what youve been through because everyones story is different, but what I want to say is that I find you an inspiration. I've tried to do some fund raising but I've been tied up in work and university and all the things that mean life gets away from you. In her last year my mum raised 600,000 for our local hospice, I have always been incredibly proud of her; she literally didnt give in until the drugs shut her body down. This really isnt a very well constructed email so please forgive me for this. Reading about you and your husband has made me realise that I need to be doing more of the things that my mum spent her last days focusing on. I try to perspectivise my life but am quite poor at it; wistful youth and all. I cant do a lot but what I can say (and do) is that the next run I do (half marathon) will be for your husbands charity. One day I hope to inspire people in the way you have. I wish you and your family all the happiness and success in the world.
Kind Regards
Alex Smith (Lex)
luv
lex
xxx

Every time I read this email I get a lump in my throat but am hoping that I am making Mr W proud by raising some cash for charity and keeping this blog going - plus its nice to know that there is at least one person reading this!!

Sam

Harry Turns 4

Saturday was Harry's birthday. A really odd day for me without Rich as I am sure you can appreciate.
Unbelievably Harry slept in until after 9 (why do they do this when you don't want them to!). For once he got washed and dressed without the usual dramas, birthday presents are a brilliant bribe! His little face when he got downstairs to his presents was fantastic - predictably all cards were ignored as he ripped wrapping paper off all his new toys. As an adult don't you wish you could open presents in this manner rather than having to politely open them slowly and say lots of thank-you's before politely moving onto the next - would be much more fun to dive in and create a sea of ripped wrapping paper. I never understand the people that open presents so carefully so they can re-use the paper - makes no sense and must be no fun opening presents like that! Anyway, back to the birthday boy, so after Harry had opened his presents and ate his breakfast we (Me, Bec, H, Julie, Josh and Katy) headed off to Legoland - Harry's birthday treat!

It was a great day - sunny and dry - perfect! The first ride we went on was the rapids. Whilst queuing we could see the people coming off this ride looking pretty soaked but we ignored the fact that you could buy water-proof ponchos and piled into our 'boat'. It was pretty clear fairly quickly that not only would we get wet but we would also be leaving the boat soaked - however it was sunny so this was fine! What I did not anticipate was the random squirts of water that caught me straight in the eye so I left this ride not only wet through to my undergarments but also sporting the look of Chichi the Panda! Mascara running all down my face - nice! The rest of the day went well, the kids had a great time and Harry was on his best behaviour (for a change!). On our way out of the park we went into the lego shop and Harry purchased some toys with the birthday money he had been sent by some friends and family. Becs picked a new handbag (that's my girl!).

We stop at McDonalds onroute home for birthday tea (happy meals all round!) and headed home. The car was very quiet for a change, god bless theme parks for tiring out children!

Harry and Josh then had a quick play in the garden before Harry blew out the candles on his Ben 10 birthday cake. Bedtime went rather smooth as well as we were going to Thorpe Park the next day so Harry had more rides to look forward to - and as Harry has told me, he likes the fast rides as they "make my winky wobble Mummy" !!!!!!!!!!!! My son, the charmer!

Gangan

I just wanted to drop a quick post in honour of my Granddad (or Gangan as I called him as a child!). My Granddad passed away Wednesday morning, he had been suffering with dementia for a while now so whilst its very sad that he is no longer with us I am hoping that he is in a much happier place and has all his memories returned to him.

My Granddad was such an inspirational person - when he was 14 he lost his parents and had to take care of his brothers and sisters - can you imagine having to do that at such a young age.

When I was little my Nan and Granddad lived in Brighton and ran a greengrocers. I remember loving to play shop when I was there. They lived above the shop and it was a victorian building so I remember the large rooms with high ceilings fairly well (or maybe as I was little I just remember everything being bigger, a bit like when you look at a Wagon Wheel now and think these use to be so much bigger and with loads more jam!!). Every Christmas, when me and my sister Julie were small, we would get a large box of clothes from Nan and Granddad - it was ace opening up this big parcel and finding lots of new clothes inside (more so for me as being 3 years younger than Julie use to get all the hand me downs so was always excited to have clothes that were just for me! Hmm perhaps this explains my shopping habit.......!). When it was time to head back home after a visit with Nan and Granddad we were always allowed to pick any fruit we wanted and Granddad would put it in a brown paper bag for the journey home. I always had bananas and Julie always had apples - odd the things you remember!

I think one of the best things about my Granddad was that he always said whatever he wanted - sometimes this was down right embarrassing - but lets face it better to tell it like it is than to dance around these things!

We will all miss you lots Granddad, especially Mum who is heartbroken that you are not here anymore. But we have lots of happy memories to remember you by so you will never ever be forgotten.

God Bless x

Mothers Day

So my first mothers day without Rich was an emotional day as you can imagine. I was determined to keep busy and try not to focus on the fact that he was not there. My Mum had looked after Harry for me the night before as I had been out to a friends engagement party.

I picked up Harry and we made some food to have a picnic in the park and play on the swings before heading back to Mum's for dinner that evening.

Me and Harry arrived in the park and searched for some ducks to feed. Harry had fun throwing the bread to the ducks and swans. He then had the mission of finding us a bench to eat our lunch on. Once he had the right bench (a difficult choice for my picky son!) we sat down and ate our sandwiches and drank our juice before setting out for the important bit of finding the swings across the other side of the county park. Now Harry doesn't walk, Harry runs - as you can imagine Harry often trips, falls, runs into stuff etc etc! Today however Harry decides to trip and not break his fall with his hands but with his head!!! A massive black lump immediately formed on his head and he was screaming like a mad thing. I panicked and had no idea if a lump coming up was a good or bad thing and Harry was looking a little bit wobbly (I suppose you would after colliding head to pavement!) and therefore decided to take him to A&E to be safe. I was a fair walk away from the car and had to carry a crying Harry all the way back, I thought my arms were going to drop off. I remember being terrified at the time of anything happening to him - I guess thats the aftermath of Richie dying, you realise how precious life is and how easy it can be taken away.

Luckily A&E must be use to panicking Mum's as Harry was seen immediately and they thought that he was ok (aside from the bump) but asked us to stay for an hour so they could make sure he didn't get worst. Harry then played in the childrens A&E play area running around like a loon making me feel the biggest fraud as other parents came in with children with arms in slings or on crutches etc!

Killer Heels & Dorney Lake

Myself and four friends have been getting ourselves fit by training for a 10K run at Dorney Lake in Taplow which took place Sunday 15th March. The aim of the run was for us all to raise as much money as possible for the charities we are donating to in honour of the fabulous Mr Wildman.



The day before the race the sensible thing to do would be to get lots of rest, stay away from the wine and have a healthy pasta dinner before getting to bed at a sensible hour! Whilst this was the plan, like all good plans can mine went to pot rather quickly. The previous week had been a particular shit one therefore when Katy turned up Saturday afternoon, instead of chilling out with a bottle of Evian we decided to hit the pub and sit in the sunshine with a bottle of Pinot! One bottle turned to two and then we where joined by Kat (another fellow runner!). From the sunny beer garden we moved onto the local Theatre to watch some friends in the local drama group perform the Regina Monologues - this seemed like a sensible plan as we needed to remove ourselves from the pub and get back to the plan of hydrating ready for our big run the next day.



The play was fantastic and was enjoyed by us all - therefore it was imperative that we remained in the bar after the show to congratulate the actors on their performace. This meant that we all obviously had to purchase further wine in order to toast the fine job they had done.................



At the end of the evening we walked the short walk back to my house from the theatre, tottering in my heels I stumbled and went over on my ankle D'oh!!! It immediatly really hurt and I had to walk home bare foot. Anyway, I climbed into bed ready to get rest before the big run!

I woke aprox 5am in a lot of pain everytime I moved my leg, I got out of bed to use the bathroom and nearly fell over as the pain was pretty bad. I got into bed and rest the foot on a pillow to try and make the swelling go down. After an hour I gave up trying to sleep and woke up one of my friends to drive me to casualty as I was concerned that I may have done some serious damage.

Got to A&E aprox 6:30 and luckily it was quiet so was seen immediatly and sent to X-Ray. The doctor reviewed the X-Ray and luckily no fractures or breaks (although he pointed out a floating piece of bone from an old injury - odd!!). He explained that I had sprained the muscle across the top of my ankle and needed to keep off it for at least 48 hrs and give it time to heel. Hmmm, this was not good seeing as I should be crossing the start line for the 10K at midday.

The doctor strapped up my ankle and it immediatly started to feel a bit better now it was supported. I got back home around 7:30 and decided to keep the foot up as long as possible and attempt the run. I know it was not the most sensible thing to do but I would kill myself for weeks if I didnt at least try - the run was for my Richie after all, and a few days before he died he attempted to squeeze his swollen feet into shoes in order to take me dancing for my birthday - therefore if he could attempt that for me then god damn it I could do this for him. My friends obviously attempted to talk me out of it but my mind was made up.

As we headed across to Dorney Lake I was beggining to worry that I would not be able to do this but worked on some mind over matter techniques that Richie had talked about when he was alive. When we arrived I started to feel better - there was a real buzz of excitement about the place and I picked up on this and was itching to start.

Myself, Katy, Pauly, Kat and Henry lined up with the rest of the runners and waited for the gun to fire to start of the 10K. At last the gun fired and we were off! The day was very hot and sunny and as we set off. The ankle was pretty sore for the first couple of miles but the more I ran the more it must have loosened up and I just kept my focus on Richie to ensure that I did not give up.

I finished with a respectful time of just under 60mins and came second out of the gang of us running! Never been so relieved as when I crossed the finish line though!

After the run we all got showered and met for a late Sunday lunch and re-hydrated with a couple of bottles of champagne (never one to be sensible!). Safe to say we were all tucked up in bed very early that evening.

Best news is that so far we have raised over £3,000 between the two charities we have set-up in Richies name.

Sandhurst

Its been a while since I have posted so thought I should get my act together and get a new post in. Luckily last week gave me an opportunity to add a blog which relates to Richie as well.
I have, since June last year, been attending a management and leadership training course with my company Cable&Wireless. The course takes place at the Military academy in Sandhurst.
The venue is very inspirational so I have been very privileged to attend this course and enter this fantastic place. The course originally was split into 3 modules, each module focussing on different aspects of leadership and each module being two days with an overnight stay on-site in basic officer accommodation (this part I did not overly enjoy, not quite the Lowry darling!!).
Anyway, the company decided to add on an additional module, module 4. This took place for me last week. Unfortunately I cannot go into too much detail around the content of this session in case anyone who is also attending an iteration of this course reads this blog. The Sandhurst motto is “what happens at Sandhurst stays at Sandhurst” and to give away too much information would ruin the experience for the next batch of delegates.
Anyway, this final module was a physical and mental challenge, and at one point I was on the verge of giving up as the ‘activity’ I had to complete was, for me, petrifying! We were told in no uncertain terms that anything we were not comfortable doing was fine and we could just move onto the next ‘activity’. I therefore attempted this ‘activity’, legs turned to jelly, shook like a leaf and decided to move on to the next task. As I moved away I immediately thought “Good God Rich would kick your arse for giving up, get back there and do it!”. His motto was often, feel the fear but do it anyway. I therefore went back, focused on remaining calm and with some coaching from one of the tutors completed the challenge. At the end of it I felt brilliant, adrenaline buzzing and chuffed that his words are that strong they are still helping me through stuff today. What an amazing man.

I often get asked how me and the children are doing. Some days are great some days are indescribable. Rebecca appears to be doing ok, we talk about Richie often and focus on the fun stuff from the past. Harry is still very confused about the situation; he seems to be starting to understand that Daddy isn’t coming back now and understandably gets very upset about this. However, Daddy is working hard to keep the ‘monsters’ away from Harry’s room with his magic kung-fu moves. Harry loves to demonstrate this – am slightly worried that he will knock me out one day as he is still rapidly growing into a giant much like his Dad!

Oh and don't forget www.justgiving.com/mrbaldy or www.justgiving.com/chemoman if you fancy donating in Mr W's honour