Tuesday, 4 November 2008

How To Look Stupid In One Easy Lesson

A few of us went to see the new James Bond film, Quantum of Solace, on Sunday evening.  I did my injection for the day, whoo, got to love the injections and I was ready to go.

We parked in the multi storey car part opposite the cinema.  The car park was busy so we were parked near the top.  I then got to experience the joy of walking down the steps with my feeble legs.  I was out of breath by the time we got to the bottom.  I've still got a lot of muscle building up to do!
Anyway, everyone had crossed the road and I was hobbling behind.  By the time I was ready to start crossing, I saw two cars zooming round the corner and didn't think I'd make it in time, what with my top turbo boosted speed being around the speed of a heavily sedated snail.  I decided to walk along to the traffic lights and cross there.  Now my brain said to my legs that turning would be a cool thing to do and one of them agreed, sadly the other leg was busy or just not listening and stayed where it was.  So, with one leg not quite turning properly and the other one discovering a nice uneven bit of curb, the only outcome, according to the laws of physics, was for me to drop to the floor like a sack of sh*t.  This I duly did.  Everything DIDN'T go in slow motion, as seems to be the norm when falling or similar, but not this time.  One minute up, the next lying on the floor in a heap, shocked and not quite sure what was going on.  My feeble arms had reflexively taken the brunt of the fall, but only just.  If they were any more feeble I would have been trying to do a bit of concrete mining with my face!  The sound of me hitting the deck, reported back to me as "a loud thud", got some of the others looking back and I was helped up and dragged out of the road before the next cars came! (good move in my book).  I had dirty hands and scuffed knees, just like my little son often does.  No really injuries, which is good as with the anti-coag injections it would be a swine to stop any bleeding.  When I got home I found some stonking bruises but the worst bit was that I fell over pretty much in front of the cinema, much to the entertainment of the crowd loitering outside.  Still it's good to entertain and make people smile (laughing bastards!  I'll have my revenge on each and every one of the tittering gits!  Erm, okay, calm again now)

11 comments:

Adam said...

Well done mate, i'm sure you looked great. 9.5 for effort :)

The Finisher said...

Dude - surely you should rename this posting - "how to look stupid in one simple step"...

wacka. wacka.

Wifey said...

The real story is that Rich was wanting some attention as all the girls were drooling over Daniel Craig (mmm Daniel Craig) so he decided to perform some 'acrobatics' with the James Bond style hint of danger in the middle of the road!

Anonymous said...

one step beyond!! ... madness
great attention grabber !

bert and chrissie

Damnyoureyes said...

You tried the James Bond roll, didn't you!!


Time to roll(haha) out the jokes about you being light on your feet....
Half a shandy makes you wobbly at the best of times... etc etc

Anonymous said...

And what's more the film slightly sucked!!

Anyway sorry about your fall Rich, but I blame the world for spinning round at 1000mph.
Or maybe it was your comedy birthday present to me.

Pikey

Anonymous said...

Hi rich, next time you'll do it watch first if you have some nice bottom in your sight, don't tell me you didn't look before xxx
be carefull x
all my best.
Steph xx
Sorry for my frenchy english xx

Anonymous said...

hi mate, would like to contact by E mail, can you find a way?
Steph xx

Peter Fletcher said...

Hi Ricardo
Phil wasn't over impressed with the new Bond movie, I think you should have taken your little trip as a warning not to bother!
Thought I had to share today's reading from UCB's Word for Today with you:-
Carole Mayhall writes about a televison drama called 'See How She Runs'- In it a 40 year old divorced school teacher decided to become a jogger and eventually entered the Boston marathon. It's a gruelling test of heart, mind and body. To finish the race became her goal and in spite of being jeered at and assaulted she didn't lose sight of it. When the day of the race came she faced her ultimate test. As she ran huge blisters developed on her feet. She was hit and injured by a bicycle. Several miles short of the finish line found her utterly exhausted, yet she kept going. Then within a few hundred yards of her goal, late at night when most other runners had finished or dropped out, she fell and lay flat on her face too tired to get up. But her friends put a crude tape across the finish line and began to cheer her on. She lifted her head, saw the tape and realised her goal was within sight. With supreme effort she got back up, and with a burst of energy dredged up from deep within her, ran the last few yards.'
Victory belongs to those who keep looking at the goal, not the going; not the process, but the prize; not the trial, but the treasure that's promised to those who persevere.
No matter what caused your fall, the word for you today is 'Take God's hand, get up, and run!
How do you fancy doing a marathon with me once this is all behind you?
Cheers & prayers
Peter <><

JT said...

Hey Rich

I know falling at anytime is bad but I hope it wasn't as badl as this little fella.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2-Nq5lmXzzg

(Just a link that has been going around work)

JT

JT said...

Or this dude...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KxSO1mdwI7w