I've not written a post for a while again, I know, I'm a very bad person. I'm finding it hard to get motivated to do things, pretty much anything, including getting out of bed. I just feel tired, tired and then a bit tired. It hasn't helped that I've had a cold on the go too, which has left me with that annoying ear thing, where whenever you speak it sounds really loud in your head. I keep saying, "what?" or "pardon?" to anything said to me, as I can't hear a sausage!
I've also been worrying like some custom built worrying machine. Has the tumour shrunk at all? It's had a cycle of the new chemo and I'm in cycle 2, with a scan next Monday. I keep thinking I'm noticing small symptoms that I had before, which I then use to conclude that the treatment has failed and then panic that I'm out of proper options. Not a good place to be. Luckily, I don't stay there too long, but the slightest thing seems to get my mind back there. I know the chances aren't that high that it will work, but come on, I've never won hardly anything on the lottery and whenever there are raffles, I never get a sniff in. When I was little I used to go with my ma and pa to the British Legion club, where they would go dancing and have a few drinks and I'd sit and be well behaved drinking coke. There was always a raffle. I think in all the years we went, we won twice! Although, there was a family who seemed to win every other week. Hmmm, sounds like a fix. Legion raffle had some pretty good prizes, you know! Anyway, I reckon I should have earned a bundle of "luck karma" and should now be able to spend it! I just need to know who manages such things and how to get in touch with them.
