No sleep till Brooklyn!

Well, chemo has slowly dragged on.  It hasn't made me feel bad particularly.  I've been tired and not wanted to leap tall buildings in a single bound but the previous CHOP chemo made me feel worse.  The rub here is that you are wired up 24/7.  There are 4 lots of a drug called Cisplatin that you get for 96 hours, accompanied by loads of fluids (as it is a bit of a nasty sucker to your insides if let loose on its own).  Now, the annoying thing about constantly getting fluids fed in, as I've gone on about before is that they start to bloat you out unless you can get rid of them.   They give you some drugs to help get rid of them, but it's an ongoing drudge.  Anyway, the 96 hours is getting near to an end and my grumpy mood (obviously noticeable as my wife has bought me a Mr. Grumpy t-shirt.  Thanks love).  Also, both a plus and a minus are the large steroid doses used on this chemo.  Plus side, I've always responded well, so yay there.  Downside, if they are given late they can stop you sleeping.  Mine were given late, as the infusions were going on so long (on and on and on...!  You can tell I'm not the most patient person in the world).  So, first night, no sleep, just mad thoughts that wouldn't go away.  You think of one thing and go off on a tangent and then another and then another, until you pull back and think "I WANT TO GO TO SLEEP!" and then a thought about sleep, e.g. a film that had sleep in the title comes to mind and away you go again.  Thankfully, I seem to have adapted and was able to sleep okay last could of nights, apart from the regular wakings up to pee in bottles (all urine out has to be measured and compared to fluid in, to make sure it's not welcome to bloats-ville).

That's fluids aside, ooh, lovely fluids.  Or so you'd think!  That brings me to blood.  Apparently my red count was getting low, which would help explain why I was getting tireder.  Now, I really appreciate people who give blood (and I'm glad I got over my cowardice and did myself, before getting ill), as I have now been a recipient (sorry to upset any Jehovah's Witnesses that may have stumbled onto this page, but blood transfusions are the least you've got problems with!  Wow! That was a bit harsh.  A brief aside.  Whilst at home, between treatments two 60+ year old JWs came round to convert me, after hearing their arguments I gave counter arguments to their claims and they were not very happy that I did not just gleefully accept their rather "intriguing" version of the way of the universe.  Have a look at their beliefs, I was amused.  Perhaps I'm over stepping the mark now and should get back to business).  Anyway, I was told I would need a new little cannula poking into my hand as my other 2 lines were busy.  Joy!  A new hole and a hand I can't use properly.  They said as soon as the blood is in we'll take the cannula out.  Cool!  I thought, so that's not so bad.  

"How, long to put the blood in?", I asked.

"About 2 hours, 4 at max"

Blimey, I thought to myself, that's a fair while.  My thoughts were interrupted though...

"Per pack and we're giving you 3"

Lordy!  Upto 12 hours to shove some blood in!  And it ended up taking longer.  Man, this blog is turning into my personal rant zone.  I'm sure earlier posts were all happy and positive and talking about flowers and trees and other crap.  Rah!  Mr.  Grumpy is in town!

Oxford say "no!"

I've been allowed to escape for the weekend, which is cool and the gang.  I'm sat at home, watching my own TV, sat on my own settee and it's great!  No hospital till Monday, but then they want to start the next chemo (4 days early.  I liked the idea of chilling and feeling good for a few days, but hey ho).  Was a bit downbeat today when my consultant said that because I didn't respond to RICE, the cancer squad in Oxford did not consider me for the stem cell transplant and high strength chemo (which is the best shot at really blasting this thing apparently.  It blasts me too, but I get to recover, whereas it should be no more (hopefully)).  The bastards!  The good news though was that he (my cool consultant dude) rang the cancer terminator team in Hammersmith and told them my situation and they had a different plan.  They would go for a cycle of ESHAP (which is what we had in mind anyway) and if I respond at all, even a little bit, they would go for the stem cell stuff.  Hey, Hammersmith gang, I love you.  Oxford turds, you can go and university yourselves!  No, I'm not bitter.

Okay, okay, alright already!  I'll tell.  The hedge incident.  I'd better talk about it now as otherwise you'd have to wait a week or so.

Anyway, this hedge.  Well, we had this hedge and it was a monster.  It ran from the end of the garden, down to near the front "garden" (I put garden, because I couldn't think of a better word to describe the space where the cars park that sits in front of the house.  There is a little bit of grass and a few weeds there too, so it is garden-ish.).  Anyway, the headline to take from this is that it was a long hedge.  Now, not only was the hedge one long mutha f*cker, but it was wide too and as everyone knows, it is all about the girth.  It was about 4 feet wide, so it happily ate about a 4 foot chunk of our garden, for no reward.  Oh yeah, it was also about 7 foot high.  The good side of this is that it meant that we were well shielded from the mad, crazy and insane hound lady and her hounds.  All seems pretty okay so far, when you think about, we have a 4 foot barrier protecting us from infection from the loon next door.  The thing is, it was one ugly thing and after about 3pm the garden suddenly because dark, as the hedge blocked it out.  There were also rumours that various members of the faery folk have been spotted living in it and if there is one thing that I dislike, it is squatting imaginary creatures (apologises to anyone out there who believes in such things)

Nope, the hedge was a pain, not only because it was ugly but because it had to be cut every few months.  If you do it yourself it takes yonks and if you get someone in to do it, it cost a wodge.  For what?  Stupid hedge.  Also, hound lady used to constantly complain about the hedge, demanding that I came and cut it on her side (as she was a pensioner, which is fair enough).

So, here I was walking towards my house when hound lady intercepted me and started moaning about the fence.  No, not that fence, but the fence that was on her side of the hedge.  A fence I never knew existed.  She was saying that it needed repairing and some panels replacing.  Obviously, any mention of fences from her, filled me with fear.  Sam and I had been talking about getting rid of the hedge and if I had to repair a fence I never see or even knew existed, then I might as well get rid of the hedge and fix up the old fence.  I told her this plan and she was ecstatic.  I couldn't believe it, I thought she would moan.  So, on a high, I called in, you guessed it, Steve the fence man.  He was a little reluctant to do anything that was within 100 metres of hound lady, but the hedge extraction operation appealed.  Oh man, this is going to be a long post as there is a lot of ranting to fit in.  Sorry, I may have to save the rest till another day.

Ding, ding, round 3!

Well, scanxiety wasn't around for long.  My consultant came in and told me that despite the fact that the two scans were different, one was a high res scan and the other was something else (I don't remember every detail) and difficult to compare like for like, as far as he could see they did not show the level of tumour response that they would be looking for at this stage.  Great!  Super!  Magic!  

Hmmm, I was not surprised but I was disappointed.  Strike 2.  Apparently, there is a plan C, but with each failed go, the odds get worse.  Good job I'm feeling lucky!

So, no more RICE chemo, this next week or so, I get to try out ESHAP.  This little baby gets given over 5 days this time.  Joy.  One of the drugs is infused for 96 hours.  Sounds nice.  Still, this one features steroids, which the little git seemed to respond quite strongly to, so lets hope it does here.  My fingers are aching from the constanting crossing and uncrossing!  

Roll on ESHAP then!